Day 110

Apr. 20th, 2017 11:14 pm
schadenfreude: (sad girl)
April 20, 2017 - What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you?

In early 1984, while I was pregnant with Sean, Jeff and I decided to move to a bigger house. We had everything finalized and were just waiting to begin moving our stuff. My mother and I had a shopping trip planned, but I needed to stop at the City Utilities office and get the bill transferred to our name, before I went to pick her up.

It was January or February, and pretty cold outside and I was wearing a long sleeved tee shirt and down vest. The CU office was an inferno, hot enough to sweat, so the vest came off almost immediately. I had to stand in line for a long time and when it was my turn I was panting. The lady behind the counter said, "I'm hurrying, I promise. We'll get you out of here in just a couple of minutes!"

True to her word, we finished up and as I was making a bee-line for the door, I started seeing sparkling lights in my eyes. The next thing I know I wake up, lying flat on my back in the middle of the CU lobby with five or six people standing over me... one was a policeman. The only thing I could think to say was, "I'm not on drugs! I'm pregnant!"

Day 108

Apr. 18th, 2017 10:22 pm
schadenfreude: (Default)

April 18, 2017 - Completely Useless Facts
  • In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all the world's nuclear weapons combined.
  • Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.
  • Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
  • "Go." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
  • No word in in the English language rhymes with "month".
  • A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
  • Money isn't made from paper, it's made from cotton.
  • In the 1830s, ketchup was sold as medicine.
  • There are no clocks in Las Vegas casinos.

Day 79

Mar. 20th, 2017 11:25 pm
schadenfreude: (free falling)

The First Memory I Have Is:

A little background first - the house my parents owned until I was four, sat on ten acres. The house was at the front, with a detached garage, and a barn. The rest of the property was fenced, and my dad bought a calf each year to raise for beef in our freezer, and he boarded horses for a couple of guys who competed in the rodeo circuits in and around Misery.

One memory is really clear, I believe it is a true memory, rather than just hearing family tell the story over the years.

Cathy and I may have been four, but were probably still three. Our older brother, who was twelve or thirteen, convinced us that we could get pillowcases from our bedroom, and if we jumped out of the barn loft, the pillow cases would work exactly like parachutes and we'd float slowly to the ground.

I distinctly remember standing beside Cathy in the loft, looking down at my brother shouting encouragements up to us. Then, I remember my Dad coming out of the back door at a dead run, my brother taking off around the side of the house and continuing on down the road, never looking back. We climbed down the ladder and out of the barn, much to my Dad's relief. He told us that the next time Steve hatched a plan, one or both of us should run it by him or our mom first.

While it was actually happening, I do not remember being scared until our dad came outside and started yelling. Now, that I'm older, with kids and grandkids, I realize just how frightened he was.

When our brother finally made his way home, he was banished to his room the rest of the night, and again the next evening, after school.

Thankfully, it's only a story of what could have been, with a really funny ending.

Day 78

Mar. 19th, 2017 11:11 pm
schadenfreude: (free falling)

Sunday was a lazy day.

Other than running the dishwasher and doing a couple loads of laundry, my behind has been sitting or reclining.

  1. The Walking Dead is finally gearing up to the uprising and (hopefully) end of The Saviors. Since the season premier, I've wanted to see Negan's brains splattered all over the pavement, just like he did to Glenn and Abraham. Yeah...
  2. The Feud with Susan Sarandon and Jessica Lange gives me the feels. It is definitely not what I expected, but I couldn't possibly enjoy it any more than I already do. My parents didn't go to the theater as they were notoriously cheap, and had no problem waiting a year or two for a movie to play on television. We watched it as a family and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Whenever it plays on television, I still watch. Honestly, I had no idea that both Bette and Jane had such horrible lives, and I can definitely understand how that shaped them into the mean, jealous, competitive, and amoral women portrayed in The Feud.
  3. Hap and Leonard -- I found this on Netflix yesterday, and it's awesome. A Sundance original, Netflix only has the first season. The second is currently playing, but I don't have the channel. Hopefully I can find it streaming on one of the pirate sites, rather than wait a year for Netflix to get season two.

That's all I've got - I was a complete slug today.

Day 69

Mar. 10th, 2017 10:25 pm
schadenfreude: (Default)

March 10, 2017

"Nihilists?!  F*ck me... I mean, say what you want about the tenets of National Socialism Dude, at least it's an ethos..."

While in still in school, I had a philosophy class that touched briefly on the different branches.  The instructor also happened to be a Methodist minister, and always wore these snazzy bow ties. He was great, and I loved him. 

When he discussed Nihilism, I remember feeling frightened at a gut level.  Seriously? A belief system that basically states morality, love, peace, and justice are not inherent, and that finding the purpose of one's life and happiness should be the ultimate goal? It sounded like Satanism!

Keep in mind, I was still a kid with no life experience and this was the my introduction to the subject.  Over the past forty years, I've matured a bit, and come to realize that Nihilists are not a bunch of lunatics plotting to destroy society as I know it.  They're not evil monsters.

What does strike me as funny -- makes me laugh out loud -- is that in quite a few movies and television shows, when the subject comes up, at least one person has the same knee-jerk reaction I had during Dr. Klein's lecture back in 1977.

Day 56

Feb. 25th, 2017 03:40 pm
schadenfreude: (free falling)

February 25, 2017 - The Mardi Gras of Chili®

Sertoma Chili Cook-off 36 is almost in the bag. If you hurry, you can still make it down there in time to see Shawn Munday, then the Dirty Saints are closing it down.

This was a fun day. I didn't get out of bed as early as I'd planned, but it's all good. I stopped at the convenience store to get cash from the ATM and buy a cup of coffee. The kid at the counter saw the logo on my shirt and got really excited. He told me that eleven years ago, his dad's team took first place as crowd-favorite and the official judging. Dad still has his trophies and the recipe. Dad and son (the clerk at the convenience store) are planning to try again next year, to see if the chili recipe has withstood the test of time.

When things were slow in my area, I got to go to the party – I was able to hear a bit of Thrillfall, Laura Ashley, Pearl Nation, and Chris May / Marcus Chatman. They were all wonderful.

I had a few bites of chili – my personal favorites were The Boys & Girls Club and Mediacom. In the “restaurant” division, my favorite was Iguana Roja. They were all delicious! As for adult beverages, what brand and how much I had is none of your business. Suffice to say, I did not deprive myself.

The booths, as usual, were over the top. So many fun / funny themes, but my top three picks were AECI's Chocolate Factory, patterned after Willy Wonka's, Expedia's Alice in Wonderland, and Classic Lawn's Dr. Dandelion's Diabolical Laboratory.

Now I'm home, packing away all my swag and Mardi Gras beads. Oh, I almost forgot! I scored a totally sweet UPS hat! Aren't you jealous?

Day 55

Feb. 24th, 2017 10:57 pm
schadenfreude: (Cool Breeze)

February 24, 2017

Tomorrow is the Sertoma Chili Cook XXXVI (think Super Bowl). Tonight I went to help get my area set up, had a team meeting, then wandered around taking pictures and enjoying a few adult beverages. If you're in the area, like to eat chili, like to drink beer, and enjoy raising money for the Boys & Girls Club, you should definitely stop by! This video is from last year, but definitely catches the spirit!

Day 54

Feb. 23rd, 2017 10:53 pm
schadenfreude: (motto)

February 23, 2017

I haven't Tom'd you for a while. A friend of mine sent this link and I can't stop watching it. Put your earbuds in for this one...

::fans self:: Oh my, is it hot in here or is it just me?

Day 53

Feb. 22nd, 2017 10:51 pm
schadenfreude: (motto)

February 22, 2017

Make-up -- this one is about people having hissy fits over SNL. Please listen closely, because George Stephanopoulos says Sean Spicer thinks Melissa's impression of him is funny. :-)

Day 52

Feb. 21st, 2017 10:19 pm
schadenfreude: (motto)

February 21, 2017

Another make-up, another fantastic SLN video. I love Kate and hope she becomes a yuge star!

Day 51

Feb. 20th, 2017 09:55 pm
schadenfreude: (motto)

February 20, 2017

Again, doing make-ups for the days I've missed. Another SNL video, I love Melissa, and I think this is sheer genius!

Day 50

Feb. 19th, 2017 11:14 pm
schadenfreude: (motto)

February 19, 2017

Doing make-ups for the days I've missed. I'm exhausted so you're getting videos as space fillers. Bringing the funneh!

schadenfreude: (Default)

February 2, 2017 - What's the best prank you've ever pulled on someone?

It was on April 1, 2000; I waited until twenty minutes before I was supposed to be at work and called. Heidi, the receptionist, answered. I told her that someone had broken into the house and stolen every piece of clothing I owned, even the dirty stuff. I was calling in naked. She was incensed and hung up on me before I could finish.

When I walked in the building, I could hear her ranting and railing about how I just didn't want to work that day and made up a ridiculous story. She was still furious. As I passed her on the way to my office, I said, "Good morning... oh, and April Fool's!"

Everyone else laughed and Heidi didn't speak to me the rest of the day.
schadenfreude: (Cool Breeze)

January 3, 2017 - Your Favorite Joke

A guy is driving around the back woods and he sees a sign in front of a broken down, shanty-style house: "Talking Dog For Sale." He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there. "You talk?" he asks.

"Yep," the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says "So, what's your story?"

The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.

I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.

I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

"Ten dollars," the guy says.

"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap??"

"Because the dog's a damn liar. He never did any of that shit."
schadenfreude: (free falling)

Jasmine and I were at the convenience store on the corner of Glenstone and Grand at approximately 5:00pm. Across the street, on the southwest corner of the intersection, there was a large pickup truck lodged between the base of the traffic light and a telephone pole.

I don't know...

Anyway, we saw at least five police cars, two tow trucks, an emergency rescue vehicle, and I'm not sure what else. Grand was blocked west of Glenstone, and the right south bound lane of Glenstone was closed. It was a complete mess and I'm thrilled we were able to avoid it.

A friend sent this link a few minutes ago.

Wanted Woman Causes 3-vehicle Crash by Speeding Away From Police

Evidently, she really did not want to go to jail...

schadenfreude: (Imagine)
Jasmine just appeared at my bedroom doorway, ukulele in hand and declares, "I have to practice my song. I'm going to sing it tomorrow when I wear my new dress."

Delighted, I told her I would love to hear her new song. She told me she just had the first part worked out, but yes, she would sing it for me.

Curtis would you like a cupcake
or would you rather have a beatin'?
If not, I guess we could go to the park
and have fun!

Right now, I'm having visions of gold records, Grammys and ASCAP awards . . .
schadenfreude: (gold star)
Curtis, playing with the basketball my sister Linda gave him:

Hey, do you know why there are black lines on a basketball?

No, I don't, do you?

Because it makes them look awesome! Do you know how to spin a basketball on your finger?

No! I've always wanted to be able to, but never learned. Can you?

No, but there is a coach at my school, and on cold days, he lets us play in the lunchroom. He spins a basketball on his finger, and I bet he can teach you.

Really? What's his name?

Coach Nibble. We just call him Coach, but his name is really Coach Nibble. I bet he can teach you to spin a basketball on your finger. I can ask him, because I know where he works!
schadenfreude: (smug)
The second generation katzen are with their father and his family for the weekend and Leslie is out with friends. I've finished my chores and decided to redecorate the netbook.

Because of my mad google skills, I was able to find the exact photo I wanted for wallpaper, and to pour gravy on top, it was an HD screen grab! Also, because I'm so delighted, I had to share.

Ladies and Gentlemen, allow me to introduce my new desktop! )
schadenfreude: (Caught)
This has me snickering like a 12 year old:


More than an assload but still less than a fuckton.

I have a shitload of beer, but down at my friend's place, they have a whole fuckton.
schadenfreude: (Cool Breeze)
Cats: We r n ur comfy chare stealin all ur comfyz!


schadenfreude: (Default)

May 2017

  1 2 3 4 5 6
7 8 9 10 11 12 13
14 15 16 17 181920


RSS Atom


Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags